I want more…


Show me more about you Lord. Your goodness, your grace…and your wrath. That in one sentence is hard to say, and something I’m hesitant to pray. The goodness and grace, yes…but God’s wrath, who wants to pray for that unless it’s of course for people we hate. So what does this have to do with the Grapes of Wrath? Well, that’s the name of my travel team, so for obvious meaning…we bring the heat and gonna bring serious wrath and crushing to our opponents. But wanting more…that’s in reference to my journey with Christ…to keep showing me more about Him, His Word,  and eternity through my derby journey. So in the book of Revelation, the great wine press is mentioned along with the wrath of God at the end times. And the wrath of God is mentioned plenty of times throughout God’s word. And, well bringing the wrath for derby sounds fun…but for eternity? Nope. Doesn’t sound fun. Sounds depressing and how do I as a warrior for Christ warn others about God’s Wrath? Or do I? Well, let’s see if God answers my prayer and gives me more…wisdom and eternal perspective for God’s wrath. Tomorrow my team heads out of town for a tournament. I’ll be playing my heart out, giving it my all to bring home the win with my teammates. Together we will do our best to bring the wrath on all opposing teams. Let’s see what eternal perspective I skate away with this weekend. Stick around..

Revelation 6:16-17 (NET)

6:16 They said to the mountains and to the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of the one who is seated on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb, 17 because the great day of their wrath has come, and who is able to withstand it?”

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Slowing down the enemy 

Or in derby…the jammer.

Probably my favorite and one of the better things I do as a blocker. Catching the jammer and slowing her down, long enough for my blockers to get to me to goat or hit her. When I started derby I was sure I’d want to be the jammer, not only because you get to wear a star on your head but it’s the one everyone cheers for, the one who scores the points. But once I started scrimmaging and experienced the ability to stop the jammer, hold her, mess up her plan, and hit her out…that is the thrill of derby for me that makes me feel badass…something I never felt before. Wasn’t long before God started to show me that I’ve been badass many times in my spiritual life…slowing down and messing up the enemies plans! Times when my ex husband was high and would threaten me and our son, times when I was terrified for our safety, times when I didn’t know what to do. I prayed. On my knees. And when I didn’t know what to pray, I would read chapters from the book of Psalms out loud. I sought out counsel for my hard times, I applied tools I had learned could help with an alcoholic husband. I was badass by doing all those things. But it was so slow, with very little victory and the exhaustion and fear made it hard to see where I was going. Does any of that sound familiar? The enemy. The one who doesn’t want us to find the hope in Jesus Christ. That enemy we CAN stand in his way, we can mess up his plans by our choices, prayers and trust in God. As I’ve learned as a blocker, I don’t need some awesome hit that sends the jammer across the track, all I need to do is hold her…slow her down…keep her from scoring more points. So in life. Your prayers, your bible reading and your doing the word of God DOES effect the enemy! Sometimes my holding results in a painful hit on the jammer, sometimes me. Sometimes I have to let her go once we reach out of play but it’s given good time for my jammer. Sometimes my teammates come to strengthen my hold on her, and sometimes the opposing team come to hit the shit out of me for their jammer. So in life…being badass with Christ is hard and will hurt at times. Don’t let that stop you. You count and you matter. Don’t forget that❤

Here’s some BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH “BIBLE” stuff to work out on:)
“Remember what you said to me, your servant— I hang on to these words for dear life! These words hold me up in bad times; yes, your promises rejuvenate me. The insolent ridicule me without mercy, but I don’t budge from your revelation. I watch for your ancient landmark words, and know I’m on the right track. But when I see the wicked ignore your directions, I’m beside myself with anger. I set your instructions to music and sing them as I walk this pilgrim way. I meditate on your name all night, God , treasuring your revelation, O God . Still, I walk through a rain of derision because I live by your Word and counsel.”

Psalm 119:49‭-‬56 MSG

Strategy…commit it to memory 

Last night’s practice was all about new plays, new strategy for a new season with a new coach.

Not only were our plays given a name, but also printed out for each teammate so we would have no excuses to not have it ingrained in our brains. We tackled 3 of them last night, broken down into steps so that we didn’t just memorize but had a complete understanding of the play, each position played , the purpose and the hoped for outcome. We all loved it, taking it all in and repeating the name of the play often. I wore my son’s old tshirt he wore back in his middle school days and taking it off last night all sweaty from an almost 3 hour practice…I thought how the blood of Jesus was shed so we could live life eternally. And how the Word of God isn’t just words to give us a little pick me up, but strategy that if we commit to memory we can live life on purpose. This is so much of what will be in my derby devotional I hope to get published. I can’t believe how I’ve realized the Word of God is like a playbook since I’ve started playing roller derby, and how I approach the Bible, it’s words and committing it to memory.  I hope that is something I leave behind when I leave this earth…to inspire others to look at the Bible as a playbook on life and commit it to memory. And you can’t do that if you don’t open the pages and read. Just read it;)

Here’s some BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH “BIBLE” stuff to work out on:)
“Let your love, God , shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised; Then I’ll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word. Don’t ever deprive me of truth, not ever— your commandments are what I depend on. Oh, I’ll guard with my life what you’ve revealed to me, guard it now, guard it ever; And I’ll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom; Then I’ll tell the world what I find, speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed. I cherish your commandments—oh, how I love them!— relishing every fragment of your counsel.”

Psalm 119:41‭-‬48 MSG

Pain if I do, pain if I don’t 

It’s been 11 years that I’ve had RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and I spent the first few years of it angry and depressed about it. Then…I catapulted into peri menopause 7 years ago. Well not only did that add to my depression and anger towards constant pain, I now wanted to punch throat anyone within hitting distance near me!

So this video is a clip I grabbed last week to show my team how I am working on my forward facing blocking. The first 2 days after that gym session I had good muscle pain, but then over the weekend the inflammation hit and again I found myself thinking I’m never gonna do that again. But I forgot, what I forget almost everyday…one of the main reasons I started and have stayed with derby. With my RA, I experience pain in most of my joints as if I’ve been in a car accident or my wrists, or shoulder, or rib is broken and that happens WHETHER I DO ANYTHING OR NOT.  In fact, my hands get flare ups the day after I fold laundry as if a car ran over them. Sooooo, when I started derby I realized that the hard hits and the bruises I got actually gave my mind strength and body a reason to hurt. I do have to watch flare ups and be mindful of when to get recovered but for the most part, RA hasn’t limited me but instead given me a reason to keep going cause the pain ain’t going nowhere. That brings me to why does God allow pain? That’s a loaded question and for today, I’ll keep it short. There is purpose in pain. Whether we like it or not, pain brings about more action then pleasure ever did. Pain is the signal that something isn’t right and something needs to happen now. It’s taken me 11 years to look at pain in a different way then just hating it. Without the pain of Jesus’s death on the cross, there would be no resurrection.  Without the pain of carrying my children and labor, there would be no birth. Without the pain of brokenness, there would be no healing. Some pain is completely uncalled for and unnecessary, such as RA-that for no apparent reason attacks a perfectly good joint. Unfair. But I choose to find what good can come from it and become stronger. And derby…wow has it shown me how to do that. Yep I’ve been hit for no apparent reason, fallen in pain and got back up. Determined to be on guard and not let those unfair hits take me out or off my game. I’m not gonna let RA do that either for this life given me. I’m sorry for those who also live with pain and I hope others find strength the way God has shown me. Because one day, the pain will be gone and I’ll dance the streets of gold…and definitely hip check a derby sister!

Here’s some BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH “BIBLE” stuff to work out on:)
“God , teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. Give me insight so I can do what you tell me— my whole life one long, obedient response. Guide me down the road of your commandments; I love traveling this freeway! Give me a bent for your words of wisdom, and not for piling up loot. Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets, invigorate me on the pilgrim way. Affirm your promises to me— promises made to all who fear you. Deflect the harsh words of my critics— but what you say is always so good. See how hungry I am for your counsel; preserve my life through your righteous ways!”

Psalm 119:33‭-‬40 MSG